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John Carpenter's
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HOW IT DOES WHAT IT DOES
by K.C.
An explanation for
the supposed ability of each new incarnation of the creature to retain
usable, complete genomes from all previous victims/meals of its
ancestors occurred to me. From what I gather of bioscience, each cell
in our bodies with the exception of red corpuscles contains DNA. This
DNA however is not inert, like a book on a shelf, but rather active,
like a computer. It repairs itself, and helps structure the workings
and growth of the cell. Some scientists at present are even working on
molecular and specifically DNA-based computing, whereby a mathematical
problem is solved chemically in a test-tube and then the results
analyzed and translated back into digital form. But our cells have
been computing for eons.
From what I've read of Drexler's "Engines of Creation" a single cell
contains a vast amount of empty space from a molecular or atomic
perspective, and at first I thought that the Thing might have some
sort of high-tech nanomachinery buried inside it that helped rebuild
itself on cue. This hints at an engineered rather than an evolutionary
origin for it. But to me this solution of the problem with brute
computing force seems inelegant compared to the improved solution
below, while explaining certain observed limitations which a
completely super-computational nanofluidic creature should not have.
Simple: parallel processing. The Thing introduces certain new command
potentials into the cells. It might do this by splicing in a new strip
of DNA, creating a new organelle or second nucleus, or, maybe more
fitting, it hides inside and/or replaces the mitochondria, which as
its own DNA. In any case, though, it does not arrive on the doorstep
of each cell laden with the genomes of every one of its previous
victims, with the aim of cramming these codes into every nucleus.
Which should be fairly obvious in retrospect, since in order to become
a dog a Thing has to have sufficient mass, so there's no sense in each
cell having the (meaningless) potential to "become a dog". That each
cell might serve as an emergency genetic library if separated from the
main mass seems plausible, but given the creature's observing hunting
behavior I suspect this argument is specious because we have no
indication that single cells or relatively tiny groups of Thing cells
can infect anyone, so there's no need for them to retain such copious
genetic redundancy. A parallel can be found in humans: most human
cells contain DNA, but only a few of them are stem cells. From what I
know, DNA is just a blueprint and a single-cell maintenance and
duplication program, but a zygote (i.e. totipotent stem cell) contains
not only the blueprints but the machinery needed to construct the
entire organism, and only requires a suitable setting in order to do
so.
The human genome densely written out would fill about 200,000 pages,
taking an indefatigable human brain around 9.5 years to consciously
read, according to the Human Genome Project. The human brain itself
has something like 10 billion neurons, each potentially connecting to
10,000 of its neighbors, yielding vast computing power (around 10^15
operations per second). Yet the human body contains around 6 x 10^13
or 60 trillion cells. If each of these cells could function as a
neuron, then a human-sized Thing would have approximately 6,000 times
the available brain mass, and if this mass could function as a single
ad hoc brain, based on the evidence that every doubling of available
nodes increases their potential interconnections six-fold,
conservatively halving this increase to account for structural
limitations, I estimate a human-sized Thing would have around 4
billion percent more brainpower.
With that much processing power, it could read the human genome in
less than a hundredth of a second. I don't think the Thing actually
has or uses this much power; it's smart but it's not ultra-smart. And
each cell may not be as sophisticated as a neuron. These numbers are
more to give an idea of how much computing power a living organism
might have at its disposal if it were able to rewire itself into a
single body-brain. But even if we reduce this by a factor of a 100 to
1000, we still see how we're in the range of the mutation rates
observed in the film, where an explosive transformation might take
between 8-80 seconds.
So all of those assimilated genomes would be stored in the creature's
body-memory, recalled at will by its distributed body-mind, which
would transmit signals, perhaps creating temporary glands to secrete
appropriate hormones, to cells telling them to begin transforming in
certain ways. This may well be a lot more unconscious than we might've
thought, whereby the creature dreams its way out of its situation by
imagining that it is a dog, and its body conforms to its imagination
necessarily. When the creature splits, each division may contain a
memory-copy of the entire genome bank, and this information might even
be temporarily chemically encoded and transferred in nodules to be
later deciphered and dissolved. Something as small as a blood sample
may possess certain intrinsic Thing-like qualities, but under this
hypothesis would have access to neither a rational brain, nor the
necessary blueprints for creating one. Thus the blood can think of
nothing better to do than sit in its petri dish, responding only in
terms of the amoebic response of moving toward food (don't stick your
finger in it), and away from noxious stimuli (a hot needle).
In other words, this places an interesting corollary spin on the
creature's limitations, by implying that it has no creativity when
metamorphosing, only reactivity and mimicry. It can only think
normally, rationally, clearly, and creatively when it possesses
animal-like brain structures. It wants to be human because it has to
be human in order to think. This might help explain why the relatively
deformed creatures such as the head-spider, the Palmer-atrocity and
the Blair-monster seemed so tactically inept, while the Norge Husky
seemed so collected and capable of planning. Given the tactically
unnecessary transformations Blair and said dog embarked upon, this may
strengthen the notion that the Thing is at root insane or voracious in
some way, and that it uses its stolen rationality to further its
conspiratorial ends, but ultimately must yield to its sexual mandate
from time to time.
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